Pregnancy Advice for Guys

I've decided that women get plenty of advice about pregnancy and so I decided that I would share some things that I've learned that could help the men who find themselves trying to figure out how to deal with a pregnant wife.

1. Buy stock in Tums. I don't know how we can do it, but we pregnant women can go through a bottle before you know it.

2. Have a coat and shoes always ready to go -- you never know when your wife will get a pregnant craving for a cheeseburger and a side of kiwi. (It sounds so good right now!)

3. Keep a stock of kleenexes and chocolate on hand. When those emotional roller coasters begin (and, trust me, it will be often) it can frequently be helped with chocolate and kleenexes.

4. Never (and I mean, never) mention having another baby while your wife is:
(a) still pregnant
(b) in labor, or
(c) can remember either of the above

5. Always be prepared to tell her she looks beautiful. (Remember, adding on an extra 25-75 pounds within a few months is always depressing to a woman.) Pregnant women often need to hear they are still beautiful to you -- although I will warn you that she probably won't believe you anyway.

6. Right about the time your wife is 6 months along she will become extremely excited over every baby she sees, each piece of baby clothing, baby names, and anything remotely related to babies. All she wants is for you to pretend to be as excited as she is.

7. Please remember that she cannot be held responsible for anything she says while she is in labor. (Most likely she didn't mean it anyway.)

8. Your wife will love you and brag about you to all her friends if you do little things to maker her more comfortable, such as rubbing her back, massaging her feet, or watching the kids so she can take a hot bath when she is uncomfortable. Especially during the last couple of months, she will feel pretty miserable and not much else will make her happier.

9. Be prepared for every day to be different and remember that patience will probably be the most important thing you can have through the pregnancy. She may be morning sick one morning and then eat everything in sight the next day. Somedays she will be scared about the new baby and some days she will be so excited she just can't wait! Be patient with her. It only lasts 9 months.

10. Don't plan any camping trips, ski trips, work travel, vacations, pool parties, or anything else that your wife will feel really awkward or uncomfortable at. Trust me, it's not fun to travel with a pregnant woman who has to use the restroom every half hour.

11. Practice your cooking skills because your wife will probably get sick from smells throughout part of her pregnancy. If you can cook she will be much more likely to eat (plus, she'll think you're the best husband in the world). Also, remember that morning sickness is common in the first trimester so if she runs for the toilet during a meal don't take it personally.

12. Don't worry about crying during the birth or when you hold the baby. I can promise you that it will make your wife love you all the more.