Vent -- 1

I so badly need to vent. And, unfortunately, writing is my safest form of venting.

So, many people know that we are working on getting a little foster boy.  It has been a long and painful process. I don't expect anybody to read all of this, but I want to write it all out, mostly, I suppose, to justify my frustration.

We actually started this process back in July of last year.  After a lot of prayer and contemplation we finally came to the conclusion that it would be write to look into foster care.  So, we got information about it and I attended an orientation class in July.  We began filling out the application.

The next step was to take training classes. I had to wait until August to take those.  The wait was frustrating, but I kept reminding myself that these things take time. Finally, the classes started.  They were two or three times a week throughout August.  I spent every Monday and Tuesday of that month leaving Ridgecrest at about 3:30 pm and driving to Bakersfield (2 hours away).  I would go to the class and leave Bakersfield at 9:00 pm when the class ended, and get home at about 11 pm the next day.  I did that two nights in a row for the first three weeks.  The final week I did it Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.  I was incredibly exhausted.  It was tough on my family because I wasn't home to make dinners or drive to dance classes or help with homework.  We all sacrificed.

Finally the classes were over.  We spent many hours finishing up the application.  We got it submitted.  They sent it back for a few minor fixes, we completed them that day and submitted it back the very next day.  We waited and waited to hear back. It took a few weeks. We finally heard from them and got a list of things that they will check for the home inspection.  It was an incredibly long list.  It included the things we expected like to lock up medicines and poisons, have enough beds for everybody, etc.  But, then there were some we didn't expect.  Like, for example, we found out that we have to have a permit for every structure on the property. We have a shop in our backyard, and I was worried that the previous owners didn't have a permit when they built it.

I went to the city planning department and looked into it.  Sure enough, I was right.  There was no permit.  So we had to file an "as standing" permit and pay the fees and get all of that paperwork done.  I admit that this was the point where I began to drag my feet just a little bit.  I was feeling overwhelmed.  The cost of the permit fees and permit paperwork seemed to be just too much on top of everything else we had been doing for this.  So, I stalled and didn't do anything for a couple of weeks.

Then, I got a phone call from the social worker.  She told me that I need to just clean up my house so she could come.  I tried to explain to her about the shop in our backyard and the necessary permit.  She didn't believe me and just said, "Whatever, just get off your couch and go clean your house so I can come for the inspection."

I was very offended, honestly.  Having a clean home is a sensitive issue for me.  It is something that I struggle with and am very self-conscious about.  I know that most people probably wouldn't be very offended by that, but I was.  My home was clean.  I was not being lazy. It really hurt me.  I decided that I didn't want to work with someone who treated me that way.

At about that same time there was a street fair in our town in conjunction with the city's 50th anniversary celebration.  At the fair I met a social worker from a Foster Family Agency (FFA).  The woman was positive and happy and fun.  With that stark contrast of workers, we decided to switch to the agency, Legacy.  We thought it would be easy to switch over since the paperwork was all done.  We had already complete everything including training, physicals, fingerprinting, a home study, drawing out our house and yard layouts, and so on.  It was anything but easy.  We had to start everything over.  Everything.  I was frustrated at that point, and it only got worse.

So, I did another 12 hours of training.  And another application.  And another home study.  And layout drawing.  Everything.  We thought we could get our fingerprints transferred.  We waited on that for a long time.  But, it ended up they couldn't.  So we paid more money and had another set of fingerprints done.  It still took over another month for them to be completed.  That waiting time was frustrating as well.

In the midst of all of this process we found out that one of the rooms in our house that we have been using as a bedroom, technically shouldn't be used as a bedroom.  It's kind of complicated. So, what had happened is that the owners before us had a large covered patio.  One of the bedrooms had opened right to the covered patio with a sliding glass door. Then, they changed that patio into a completely enclosed room, which made the bedroom connected to it no longer up to code to be used as a bedroom. We had not clue that it was that way when we bought the house.  In fact, the house was advertised as a three-bedroom house.  So, we just had no idea about this problem.

With this change of things, we had some big decisions to make.  Should we forget about the whole process or should we put in the time and money to remodel our home? And if we remodel, how should we do it? Convert the play room into a master bedroom? Divide it into two bedrooms? Add another room to the house? We talked many times to the city planning department and an inspector about the options and what would be best to do. We also talked to a realator about what would be the best option to improve our home value. 

We finally decided to divide the big play room into two bedrooms. We drew up the plans and with a few modifications by the inspector, we were able to get started.  three months and $4000 later we got the boys' room done. It was so frustrating in a lot of ways.  But, on the other hand, we had many many blessings also. So many people stepped in and helped us with the remodeling.  We could never have gotten it done as quickly without all of the help.

So, once we finished we finally thought we'd be able to get Connor.  It still took another while.  But, we were able to pick him up on a Tuesday night.  That was the toughest week of my life, but that is a story to be continued...

Luke started Kindergarten

So, at the beginning of the school year, the charter school that the girls go to agreed to let Luke start a transitional Kindergarten class after he turned 5.  Well, he turned 5 on February 12th, and he was impatient to go. I hung on as long as I could.  (He was sick, too, so I got him for a couple more days.)

But, I couldn't hang on to him forever, so yesterday he went to his first day of Kindergarten. Isn't he handsome? He did pretty good and seemed to really enjoy it.

More family pictures

Email addresses added

Hello friends and family,
I have been writing on our family blog lately and realized that not many of you were getting the posts. I have added all of the emails of people I thought would be interested in getting the email updates each time I post. If you'd like your email address added or removed, please let me know. Also, please check out the most recent posts.  There is so much going on!
With love,
Celese

Pictures of Conner

So, since everyone has been asking for pictures of Conner, I thought I'd post a couple. I hope they work ok. They were just some we were taking yesterday when he was here again.

Announcemnt -- Conner

I finally feel like we are at the point where we can make an announcement.  We have talked to very few people about this because it is just one of those things that you can never count on.

Back in August we made the decision to be foster parents.  Part of it came from Luke desperately wanting a brother, and part of it came from us wanting to do some good.  I'm not exactly sure what our reasons were other than that we knew it was what the Lord directed us.

I spent many months taking training classes, filling out paperwork, and making the changes in our house that are required for a foster home.  There were many problems with the county, though, and after a couple of situations, I withdrew our application.  I was discouraged and couldn't understand why we had felt it was right, but didn't even get through the application process.

The weekend before I withdrew our application, I met a woman who is a social worker at a foster family agency.  I called her when we were done working with the county and decided to work to be a foster family through the Legacy agency.  What a blessing that has been! They are positive and kind.  It has been a much better experience.

I procrastinated turning in my application to Legacy for quite a long time because I was scared.  Mostly, I was scared about the home inspection.  But, I finally got up the courage and turned in the application. We had very limited attributes of what we felt would be best in our home -- a little boy between the ages of 3 and 5.  When I turned in the application, the social worker reminded me that with such limits, it would most likely take a very long time to get a child. But, while I was at the office talking with her, a fax came in about a little boy that was 5.  She was as surprised as I was.  It felt like God was speaking right to us.

So, with a little boy in mind, we got to work on the process even more seriously.  It has been a long roller coaster.  We are having to do some remodelling on our home; another round of fingerprints, paperwork, and classes; and a whole lot more praying. However, it is all paying off and Conner should be joining our family soon.

Conner is 5 years old.  He is already completely adoptable.  He has had a tough life already, but we are looking forward to being able to help him and love him and have him join our family.  It should only be a few more weeks until then and hopefully no longer than  year until the adoption is final. Although it will be quite a change to have four kids in our family, we are very excited!!! 

Family Picture/Christmas Letter

We had our family pictures taken by a sweet lady in our ward. I thought I would at least write some of our family's happenings in 2013 since we did not get around to sending out a Christmas letter.

Violatte  turned eight this past year and was baptized by her dad in April.  She had the opportunity to bear her testimony in Primary about her baptism and she also born one in a Fast and Testimony Sacrament meeting. She has a powerful, sweet testimony, especially of baptism.  Violatte is in the third grade, and has such a wonderful teacher, Mrs. Thompson.  She is excelling in all of her work.  She is also taking ballet and piano lessons, and enjoys both.

Annalee is now 7 (as of January 1, 2014).  She is still as beautiful as always.  She has lost many teeth and looks forward to her visits from the tooth fairy.  Annee is in the first grade and also has a wonderful teacher, Mrs. Hogg.  Annalee LOVES her ballet class and has the heart of a dancer!  She is learning to read better every day and especially enjoys reading to her little brother. 

Luke is 4 now.  He is such an energetic little boy!  He loves to tell stories, and makes up some incredibly fantastic adventures that he shares with us!  Luke is in a Montessori preschool and enjoys it for the most part.  His favorite thing at school are the gymnastics classes and playing outside.  He is very looking forward to going to Kindergarten.  He is learning to read, and improving quite a bit.

Jimmy has been very busy working at his job as well as serving on the city council.  He enjoys it for the most part.  And, I just have to add that I am very proud of him.  He stands up for things that he feels are right, even if he stands alone.  He is a good man, and I am grateful for the service he gives, even if it is difficult.  Jim has been learning the guitar, and has gotten good at it.  I love to hear him play!  Probably the most exciting thing for Jim this year was that he got to go on a glider ride for his birthday gift.  He absolutely enjoyed that, and now has an even greater desire to fly.

As for me, I've been keeping busy with lots of things. (Probably a few too many things.) I am on the board of the United Way.  I am also the PTO treasurer at the school (which has been an insanely busy job.)  I am also on the board of the Ridgecrest Opera Guild and a performer with them.  Singing has become my new passion.  I have been so blessed to have quite a few performance opportunities with different groups.  I have an amazing teacher who is helping me improve in leaps and bounds.  I have not written much for the newspaper, but I am hoping that I can increase my writing this coming year.

We hope you are all doing well.  We love and miss each of you and would love to hear from you.  If you ever are in Southern California, let us know. We'd love to meet up and see you!
May God bless you,
The Sanders family